This is HARD!!!!

I think that quitting smoking has to be the hardest thing ever!! That little voice in your head that tells you that you're hungry....is the same little voice in your head that tells you that you need a cigarette....and he's VERY vocal!! And then I start to get annoyed because I don't really want a cigarette, but I should HAVE a cigarette.
I stopped taking the chantix when everyone started seeing the side effects of it on TV and would come graciously tell me that I could have a heart attack, or commit suicide, or have a stroke. Heck all I knew was I had gas, it would make me nauseous if I didn't eat a full meal, and I would have some really vivid dreams if I took it too late at night...go figure.
Well, I'm going to be taking them again, because there's no way I can do this cold turkey!

Heck, the other night, my husband fell asleep before me, and I wanted to beat the crap out of him...bad! Then I couldn't fall asleep because I was annoyed, so I was up till around midnight, and I get up at 4am!
Then, normally I can handle stupid people, and the things that they do, and just laugh off their antics...ohhhhhh but not now....now words flow from my mouth that wouldn't normally be said, and I know it hurts their feelings, but right now, I don't care, and I'm not like this!
Not to mention the 4 kids...they've seen their funny, outgoing, caring mom turn into the bitch from hell who would never yell or get snippy, not anymore...I will rip up one side of them, and right back down the other, so they've been avoiding me like the plague and I don't like that....I'm really involved with my kids, and right now, I don't want to be around them..and I am soooo not liking that.

And man o man, let me tell you, when they say that you can taste things after 2 weeks, because you're taste buds come back, they are NOT lying!! I have discovered that I really don't like burger king....that stuff tastes like it was just taken off lighter fluid....I about hurled after I took a bite of my sandwich. I asked my oldest daughter if hers tasted good, and she said "yes, like it always does" and I just stared at her.....blah!! I'm kinda scared to go eat a big mac, what if I don't like that?!!?
I'm not too worried about weight gain...I joined a gym, that way I can work off some of this frustration, until I learn how normal people deal with stress, because I would just go smoke if things bothered me, not anymore...now it festers in my head...and I don't want it to do that.

So, after my husband nicely went and got me a pack of smokes last night, because he doesn't like who I've turned into, and made sure that I had my chantix to start today....all was well last night. Nobody was wounded and they all made it through another night....

The hardest part of quitting smoking

Is that first one with your cup of coffee. That has to be the hardest one to give up. I can go the whole day without even thinking of lighting one up...which is good. But man o man, coffee and a smoke in the morning go hand n hand. And lighting one up now, after not smoking for awhile, is so not a good idea, because then you're stoned because you've cut off all the circulation in your brain. And you just put it out anyhow. So, it's the thought of coffee/smoke.

I went to Burger King for the first time in months, and food is starting to get more of a taste now, I'm finding that I really don't like burger king. There's soo much of that charred food taste...yuck.
So now, my taste buds are starting to work..

yeeehaw

Made it through another day...

Which I am really thankful for. Even though all around me, it seems that people have lost their minds.
I have given up on reading the news, I figure that my life is depressing enough, I don't need to read and add too it. It seems that the majority of the news is either some parent killing their children because they're stupid, or the economy is down again. Duh. We knew that.

In my opinion, the only thing that will probably help the economy, is to bring the jobs back from overseas, and stop selling all the stuff that's made in China, and start making the stuff here.

I can look at a lot of the stuff that's in my house, and the majority of it is made in China. What happened to stuff made in the USA? And when you do find something that's made here, why is it made like crap that falls apart after a day? What happened to building stuff with pride, and caring about what you're doing? It's all about money now a days, and I just don't understand it. Ok, say you make a million. You have a million. Why do you have to sit and pinch every corner you see, make half assed cheap crap, just to make another million? What's that second million going to do? Sit in the bank? Why not invest it in the company, and produce quality stuff, that people want? I don't get it.

If I had it my way....there would be a lot of people pissed off, but I wouldn't care. I would stop giving breaks to all the companies that moved overseas, I would tax the crap out of them for turning their backs on the American People and finding cheap labor.
I would put a pay freeze on all of government. Who said that Congress or the Senate should make $250, 000+ a year? To sit in a chair and bitch to each other? Makes me think I'm in the wrong profession. And then for them to vote in some crap about how much they make for retirement? They should be MADE to depend on Social Security just like hard working American's do, I bet if they had too, there would be no problems in the Social Security dept. it would run smooth like butter!
I don't know. There is just stuff in the news that just blows my mind. I don't understand how we can put ourselves in the gutter like this, and act like it's someone elses fault.

Things that Annoy the Crap out of me...

Now that I can't smoke. I've noticed that a LOT of things just get on my nerves. Maybe it's just me, and the withdrawls from the nicotine, and not being able to light up to get away from the stupidity, but man....stupid people really piss me off now a days.

And this is where this blog comes in. If I have to sit and deal with everything, it's not going to work, if I can't light one up. It will just sit on my brain, and fester, and make me miserable. So if I write it down...it's out of my head, and my life will be much much better. : )

So, this will be my journey....of having to stop smoking, and dealing with all of the stupid people that I see, read about daily.

Lord help us all.